Apple

So the iPod is really awesome, and apple made me do a useless download. The new iTunes is like the EXACT SAME as the older versions, except it has a more improved cover flow....
Well, Hanukkah has ended. Time to put the Hanukkias (NOT Menorahs) away and wait another year.

Hello

Good morning, here at the lair of insanity.
I've always wondered why "midnight" is the beginning of the morning. Somehow, that doesn't make sense to me. You might ask, "Hey Jesse, why are you staying up so late? Don't you have school tomorrow? Are you that obsessed with The Daily Show/Colbert Report?" Great question, me.
1) TDS/CR went on an until-2009 hiatus. Just typing that made me want to punch somebody in the face.
2) No, I don't have school, because it's WINTER BREAK!!!!!!!

Now you might think, "Wait a minute, Jesse, why are you making a full post about staying up until midnight? We don't care that much about your social life!"
If that's true, why do you read my blog? For my boring political opinions? Pshh, yeah right.
It's because there's a special reason I'm staying up so late, and it's because I'm working on getting iTunes compatible with the iPod Touch I just got for Hannukah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Damn thing requires 8.0. Ah well, a bigger advantage to improve technology. And for Apple to get more money.
Fucking Apple....

Post-election

Now that election day is over, let's take a good look at the losers.
John McCain, although I do somewhat hate him, is a great guy. He is a patriot, loves his country, and is an excellent comedian. Also, it's undeniable that he's changed. I hope that when he goes back to the senate, he continues to be the old John McCain.
Sarah Palin, however, is an a-hole who deserves to die. I have no feeling of sympathy for her.

Geez

Holy shit, it's been a long time. I would like to apologize to all of my ex-readers, who probably don't read this anymore, but hopefully might check back on it for nostalgia and see what it will become. So I'm sorry, but I just never felt like posting.
So, in other news....
OBAMA! OBAMA! OBAMA! OBAMA!

Guess who's back

Hey, notice the seven-week hiatus of this blog? Good news: It's NOT because I hate you!
It's actually because I was at camp, without internet. Now I am back. Yay.

Crap

Great. First it was Mario Kart DS, then Guitar Hero...
I am now a Super Smash Bros: Brawl zombie.

Warning!

This is a warning for all of you readers:
Writing bar mitzvah thank-you notes is a bitch.

Whooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Yep, it's finally happened. If you've noticed the date of this post, and my mentioning of my bar mitzvah in 6 days, you would know that I have just had my bar mitzvah. Indeed, it went by like a breeze. And you know what? I hate it. Sure, I did well at the service. Sure, the party was awesome. But you see, THAT'S THE FRIKIN' PROBLEM! I worked so hard on it, and now it's over! Finished! Kaput! And you know what I get for it. Kudos. That's it. You don't know how long I've spent working on the service. Sitting in extreme anticipation for the day to come. Waiting for so long. And then it finally happens. And it's only one whole fucking day.
Wow. It makes me feel like I've wasted six months.
However, school did end. I guess I can be happy.

Yay

And Jesse is feeling happy.
Why, you might ask?
The answer is that Jesse needs to stop talking in third person.
Seriously, the real reason is that I won a school election. I am now the 7th grade representative. My opponents were an advantage:
Illana. A well-qualified person, however, not able to win most of the grade because of the popularity rule, and
Hannah: Popular, but an idiot who definitely not take her job seriously.
Also, considering I was the only boy, that helped too.
And so, I won.
Probably a landslide, but I don't know.
Also, I have a Bar Mitzvah in 6 days.
But that's not important or anything. No, not at all.

Um, Bush?

I highly doubt Bush reads his email, but if he did, I would simply send an email titled "Just Wondering" that reads:
Are you aware that our economy is doing terribly and millions of Americans are going into debt simply because we need funding for a war in which haven't even helped the country we're in whatsoever?
-A simple American child

The reason I included "child" in there was to show that this situation is so blatantly obvious that everyone knows it. Of course, he might mistake it for the fact that I probably know nothing. Then it would be good for him not to read his email, because if he replied to me with that idea, he would be setting himself up for a witty comeback.

Al humins mak misteaks

Just another mistake:
On April 6, I said that my birthday counter was 11 days. However, that wouldn't make sense, as that would make my birthday on April 17, and my other posts pointed to the fact that it was on the 15th. Indeed, I want you all to take a break from your lives and celebrate my awesome math skills.

Correction

I just changed the "bad night" post. Originally I mentioned that it was the second time a dog humped my leg. However, I recently remembered another time my leg fell victim to a lonely dog's testosterone.




This is why we got female dogs.
-Jesse

Guam

So, the primaries in Guam, a US territory, are on May 3rd. Let's pretend we care, guys.

News

By the way, I have some news. Apparently, this blog had the chance to get sponsored. While looking through my posts, I looked at the one where I linked to The Impossible Quiz, and it said it had a comment. I looked at it, and it came from some guy from a site called freeonlinegames.com. He said that I should link to it with a certain description. However, unfortunately for Sam (I think that's what he said his name was), Free Online Games was where I encountered a fake, scary-pop-up game which gave me huge paranoia and fear of going on the internet (give me a break, I was like, 10-11). Concerned about my online-game-loving readers (which I doubt exist, but, you know, just in case), I deleted the comment and hoped never to get anything from him again. In fact, I hope he's reading this right now so he can see what happened to his offer.
Peace (and actual games on the internet),
Jesse

I'm getting really bored trying to come up with titles

-8 days...
Sorry. I completely forgot to post on my birthday. Guess I was too obsessed with Guitar Hero. Oh well.
So, I read somewhere that Hamas lied about its proposal to Israel. God, please help us. Now is the time that we need you the most.
Please. I've trusted you for my entire life.
-Jesse

Birthday counter

5 days...

Birthday counter

8 days...

Birthday counter

11 days.........

The Impossible Quiz

Play it. Play it now.

A bad night

Two weird things happened last night. First, we went to my mom's blind friend's house. His name was Josh. The house was not that enjoyable, but I spent my time listening to him. He was so awesome. The best part probably was him talking about how his mom always moved the furniture around her house, and the catastrophes that followed. Now that wasn't the weird part. Their dog, Berkley, who was neutered - get this - started humping my leg. What's really sad is that that was the third one in my life.

The other weird thing was that I got a tick.

enemy lasagna robust below wax semiautomatic aqua acompany slacks

You know what? To be honest, I have no idea.

Hmmm

You know, I've started to realize that I randomly change fonts. I'll never do that again, I promise. I'll always stick to the normal one.
























APRIL FOOLS!

Nice try, Google

Here.
What's scary is that people actually fell for it.

Is March over yet?

Oh my god... Only one more day...
THANK GOD!!!!!!!

I'm such a bastard

Ah screw it, courier's retarded

Nice one, Bush. Really Christian of you.

*Grumble*

I've started to notice that March has been taking a really long time to end. I mean, honestly, I'm getting bored of it. Screw you, March! I can't even remember the first day! DAMNIT MARCH, HURRY UP!
Also, I've now decided to make my posts in Courier.
Peace,
Jesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssse

?

Hehe... funny. Only if you have a blogspot account, however.

Here ya go

Congratulations on your clinching the Republican party, John McCain. I mean, not like there was any doubt about it or anything.

grrrr

Stupid Republican rumors.............................
*Grumble*
So, recently, I've been taking a lot of shit about Barack Obama lately. I'm sure you (whoever you are, considering nobody probably reads this) have heard of them: terrorist, hates Israel, won't say the pledge of allegiance, yada yada yada. And, like I was mumbling in the beginning of this post, these are stupid republican rumors. You heard me, stupid rumors that republicans are making just so they can have less competition. And, of course, the only way this can be backed up is that he's Muslim, and has had slight anti-antisemitic experiences that could possibly, in a very small way effect his campaign. Slightly.
Peace,
With Israel,
Jesse

Polls?

Me and my dad had a long argument about polls last night. He said that they were unnecessary and only made to make people change their beliefs based on what the "majority" of America says. I had an interesting argument with him, and apparently I won. Or at least I think I do.
I have absolutely no idea who won, to be honest.
Oh well. I really need to start my homework.
Peace,
Jesse

Woops.

Sorry about the long hiatus. Guess I either have too little time on my hands or too much time on my hands and waste it on other things. Knowing me, I'd guess the latter. So, I've got a lot of political stuff to talk about. Maybe I'll mention them after synagogue, but I don't think I can do them now because I still have to practice my Torah reading that I'll be doing today. Ah well, I think I should stop now.






Or should I?
Peace.

So it begins

Welcome to the lair of insanity! This is where I will say what comes across my mind at times. I will also keep you updated on current events I feel like I want to talk about, especially the presidential race. I am a big Obama supporter, so I guess I'll constantly be checking the news. So, I hope you enjoy this site, and if you do, always remember this motto:
You can lose everything you have, but you can never lose your insanity.
Peace.